A Series

The other day I was asked if I was keeping a wedding blog and I was like psh... no! I'm too good for that. More like Psh.. no, who would read that shit? I have nothing to say.

But I was sitting here working on some decorative stuff and it dawned on me hmm... I'm not a cutesy kinda gal, but damnit if these things aren't cute as all get out. Good thing I'm having a wedding that way I can get away with making this cute stuff without vomitting on my shoes.

Then it dawned on me... hmm... THAT should be my wedding blog... reasons it is cool to have a wedding. Not reasons why it is cool to get married and oh, I'm so in love with John, eye batting, our history, blah blah blah. But reasons why the wedding itself will be cool. And the planning for it.

So, I've got two reasons to add to that list tonight.

1. I get to make cutesy girly stuff that I'd probably deny myself in other aspects of my life.




2. When else can you drink champagne 3 times a week and call it "research" for finding the right one.



Cheers, people!

Fear

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

10 minutes

I've come up with this brilliant idea of I'm going to set a ten minute timer before I give up on life for the day. During those ten minutes, I have to clean, clean, clean! No getting sidetracked, no checking e-mail, nor facebook, just putting crap away!

I hope it helps. We're messy mo-fos. Not really, we just work 12 hours a day, then come home and want to crash for a bit until it is time to go to bed. Too bad that "for a bit" turns into "until we go to bed."

and yes, this blog was a perfect example of how my life gets sucked away in the vacuum that is the internet.

Awesome

stolen from Dale McGowan's site.

Candle Update

I know you guys (all 2 of you who read my blog) are spending your days sitting around thinking about how the wedding crafts are turning out. Well, today is your lucky day!

The freakin' ribbon is falling off of all of the damn candles posted below. I had originally used glue dots, but that is proving to not be the best choice, so... I'm having to go back and re-do the 20 something that I had finished. This time I'm using a high-temp hot glue gun. I've fixed about a dozen of them and I'll wait a while to see how these hold up.

It is certainly a pain in the arse, but at least I found out before i wrapped all 250 of them! Or even worse if I had done them all, then put them away until July when I took them out for the friggin' wedding UGH!

Anyway, that's my update.

Here's a link for those of you who like more than words:

Imagine me here

What's even cooler is that I'm pretty sure the all inclusive aspect comes with an awesome set of abs.

Damn Television

ABC has this show called What Would You Do?

Here's my answer... I'd kill a bitch.

they set up all these social experiments and see how people react to them like a dude putting some sort of drug in his date's drink, cutting in line at the grocery store with 400 items etc.

Then tonight, they put a "baby" in a hot, locked car. They used a doll of course, but people got pretty riled up called the police etc. Then they show what's coming up next... a golden retriever in a car. First of all, that sure doesn't look like a fake golden, so these abc folks had better show me a hidden air conditioner pretty quick. Secondly... DON'T MESS WITH THE PUPPIES. Or the babies.

I'm pretty sure I'll end up on this show at some point in my life. But it might not be really this show. It might just be me beating the crap out of some ignorant person who has pissed me off.

BE NICE PEOPLE! Or I will hurt you.

ps... is that not THE saddest dog picture you've ever seen?

Wedding stuff

These are what we're going to pass out as favors at the wedding. I'm completely obsessed with these black and ivory patterned papers. So far I've completed about 30 or so candles and I've wrapped 140 in paper and all that's left is adding the ribbon. At this moment, I don't have any two that are the same, we'll see how quickly the creativity and inspiration runs out.

I don't wanna...

I'm so not ready to go back to school tomorrow. I have thoroughly enjoyed the last 2 weeks of vacation and I am not ready to give it up yet. I wish we at least had a day before the kids came, but nope, we're going back full force starting with all the rug rats.

I've been pretty productive with stuff around the house and wedding planning, but I know that's going to have to stop once I'm gone 10+ hours a day. There's just something about waking up at 5:30 and listening to 5 year olds scream all day all the while trying to teach them how to read (in the five minutes between assessments) that just doesn't make me want to come home and clean house or cook or work on crafty wedding stuff. It just makes me want to come home and sleep!

I shouldn't laugh alone

So, we went to Midland for a couple of days after x-mas and rather than sitting in the cigar bar that only serves beer and wine (yes, that is my own personal hell - smoke filled room with nothing for me to drink) I stayed in the hotel room while John hung out with some high school friends.

I vowed to work on wedding stuff but instead just farted around on the internet and found this ridiculous comedy skit that apparently comes on once a week on fake "internet" tv. I don't know... anyway, I thought I would share the link so other people might know what I'm laughing at.

Check it out here

Be sure to see the one on jewelry and weddings. Finding these videos definitely counts as "working on wedding stuff"

every year

Every year... I wait until the last minute to buy christmas presents. This year has got to be the absolute worst. We are leaving town tomorrow and I'm just now going out to get stuff. 1pm 3 days before Christmas...

At least I have SOME ideas of what to get people.

when all else fails... booze.

ok off to dry my hair, because god forbid my hair frizzes while I shop like a mad woman!

it has been a while

Just wanted to reiterate that I hate everyone.

Oh yes and that icon at the top with the "ABC" and the check mark, that means "spell check."

You are welcome.

my problem

I have had almost a month off from school now... I'll admit it, I've been mostly a slacker. I have yet to wake up before 9am. Some days it takes me until 3 pm to shower.... if i shower at all. Just kidding, mostly.

Well, I have come up with some possible reasons as to why I've been so tired.

Option 1: I work really hard all school year long, I work all day long, then work Extended Care, then come home clean, cook, etc. etc. I'm not bitching here, just explaining. I can't complain because if I were better at planning my time, I'd make it to bed before 11:45 on these nights, but that doesn't happen. Soooo... all school year long I get about 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night. So, option one says that I'm catching up on sleep from all year long.

Option 2: I have mono. I'm dying. (I hope not)

Option 3: Watching too much Jon and Kate Plus 8 makes me REALLY tired. Just watching 2 people chase 6 3 year olds wears me out. And they have other kids too! If those kids weren't so damned cute, I'd bet that they would have sold some of them online or something.

I'm pretty sure that Option 3 is the most accurate. When I went swimming w/ Jamie and Dana and their babies, I came home and crashed for three and a half hours. I wasn't responsible for their boys, but damnit... just watching them made me pass out. Then Dana came over with Charlie last week. They stayed for about thirty minutes and right after they left I took a 2 hour nap.


I must be allergic to babies. Even TV babies.


Sorry Daniel, Sorry Charlie :(
(and Alexis, Leah, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, and Joel)

ouch

My butt is sunburned. That doesn't mix well with a (fake) leather couch.

and it isn't really my butt, it is the top of the back of my legs.

"There is no butt! There's just the fleshy part at the top of the legs!"

Anyone know that movie?

House!

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Its only a day away......

We buy our house tomorrow morning!

in 15 hours to be exact :)

We are so excited I can't even think!

R.I.P.

Rest in peace McFisherson.

I'm sorry I cleaned your bowl and it made you die.

This blog dedicated to the coolest and meanest Beta I've ever known.

Holy Smokes!

I started out strong packing in March, but I've slowed down greatly. We've been so busy with the thought and process of buying a house that I feel I've really slacked in the packing for the new house department. But then again, it is getting to the stage where it is hard to pack b/c everything is put away. All that is left out we'll be using. Well, not really, I could definitely do more. In fact I will do more... soon. Tonight perhaps. I've packed half of a box today and cleaned the top of the stove and fridge, both disgusting chores that made me want to shower.

Well, we should be closing on the new house on the 9th or so. That's the tentative date they gave us a week ago. You know, when we switched from buying the reasonable, starter home to buying the awesome much larger home next door.We had our first walk through today. There were only minor things that needed to be fixed, chips in paint, etc. Our realtor said that we might even be able to close before the 9th. It is all in the hands of the loan office and the building supervisor at this point.

It feels good to know that we'll be able to stay in this house for a long time, like until we're really adults and stuff.




Pretty fancy. This house buying process has been a trip. I can't begin to tell you the emotional attachment you can form in minutes... with a damn building at that! Anyway, I should go be productive if I ever want to actually live in this place.

90s sitcom

I'm pretty sure that when I sat down to get my haircut today, I didn't say "hey, have you ever heard of that show friends? Will you cut my hair like Jennifer Aniston circa 1994?"

but she did it anyway.

I look like a mushroom head.

damnit!

I'll be wearing a pony tail for a while.

I always hate my hair cuts when I first get them done, but this is really ridiculous. It is the kind of haircut I would have gotten if I were a. 45 years old b. not aware of my round head (or just liked to emphasize my circle face) and c. drunk.

unfortunately I'm not any of those things, but I am sad... so maybe I'll drink. And call in sick for a month or two.

ugh

I hate hate hate hate hate hate people.

I would like to seal myself off into a bubble and never come into contact with anyone ever again.

Oh, a note to all you idiot bloggers out there rambling on and on (go for it, if you type it, hopefully you won't say it aloud where I have to listen to it) that red squiggly line under every word of your post isn't blogger emphasizing your awesome epiphanies of earth shattering status. It is fucking telling you that you misspelled a goddamn word. FIX IT YOU FUCKS! JEBUS H. CHRIST!

PS you don't have to sign your name at the end of your blog, fartknocker. We know you wrote it. As if the "it is YOUR freaking blog" didn't give it away, the grammatical errors really sealed the deal.

my new diet

It is called Anna-alcho-ulemia. It starts out like this: don't eat much, then drink a LOT, then puke it all up.

You also have to sleep for 15 hours. I mean, yeah, you'll lose muscle mass and all, and you will also have the shakes and don't worry too much about that burning empty feeling in your stomach. Just tell yourself it is cramps and take a lot of advil.

In no time, you will be looking SMOKIN' HOT on the beach. Just don't wear a bathing suit because your pallor will be like that of death. Also wear big sunglasses to cover up the dark circles that have become your eyes.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU ALL!!! I'll see you after this quick coma................................

stirring the waters...

At lunch today, we were discussing our ancestors and I'm all about whoring out the "we were jewish royalty with a castle and everything" routine. People are always impressed, but I've yet to have anyone bow down.... so until that day...

Later we made a starbucks run and I mentioned wanting to put up our x-mas tree last weekend (yes, I know it was the first weekend of November) and one of my co-workers was like oh, but I thought you were Jewish! ha ha! I said, nah, that was long ago. She said something about me being a christian and i said, nah... the other teacher with us joked about me being a "bad christian" i said... nah... so the first one said so what? are you an atheist or agnostic?!?!?! yeah....

***crickets chirping***

So, I said what? are you not going to be my friend anymore because I do the right thing because it is the right thing and not because I fear eternal damnation?

**** damn those crickets sure are loud ****

I love when people find out that I don't believe in god after they have already formed an opinion of me. I wonder what the thought process for that one is. Hmm... I knew she wasn't a religious person, but I also know that she's a decent person and is responsible... I knew it was weird when she yelled goddamnit all the time.... but we get along.... POP! Brain explodes!

I'm sure most people think I'm just saying it for the shock value (cause I NEVER say absurd things just to see how people react!). But it is something I just generally don't talk about much outside of my close knit group of friends because I don't like being on the defensive nor do I like the feeling of being openly judged. So, it is something that I tend to not discuss either way. I don't tell you to shut up when you say you will pray for me. I don't laugh in your face and go on a tirade when you ask me to pray for your family. Because I honestly don't care. If you need some sort of reward for doing what's right... hey... do whatever it takes. If you think that you shouldn't murder people or steal because it was in the bible, that's fine as long as you aren't murdering people or stealing. I'll avoid those things because it isn't nice and I wouldn't like those things to happen to me.

Anyway, we'll see how quickly this spreads and how quickly I lose my job.

I got an e-mail from a former student's mom complaining about a movie coming out and how terrible it is b/c it was written by an atheist etc. etc. Three days after sending this to me (at work - completely inappropriate) I saw her outside and we discussed what needs to be done to get her other son in my class in two years when he finally starts school. Hmm... I wonder if she would somehow think that her second son wouldn't learn to read or to be a good student in me class if she knew (insert scary music) the real me...

It is such crap.